Wondering How to Keep your Relationship Alive? Need relationship counselling? we’ve all been there. There’s undeniable chemistry on the first date, which lasts for quite a while. Everything you do feels special, whether you’re on a trip, or just dining together. As long as you’re sharing your time with your significant other, you’re on top of the world.
But time goes by, and with it, your hormones stabilize. Suddenly, you find yourself missing that spark that made the relationship so deeply special in the beginning. What does that mean? Are you no longer in love with the other person?
Well, of course not. As time goes on, the nature of your feelings for each other can undergo a shift, and while you still love the other person just as much, you might feel a little settled in it. And that can lead to feelings of boredom – after all, you’re not excited the same way you were in the beginning.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can rekindle the spark in your relationship, and maintain it for as long as you’re together. Let’s look at a few ways you can do so.
Try new things together
When the two of you start to take each other for granted, you have a problem. And you’re likelier to do so if you don’t keep each other excited about being together. One trick you can use is to try new activities together. And keep in mind, those activities should be exciting. They should help you make new and thrilling memories, and make you feel like an unstoppable team together. The more exciting you find the activities, the more exciting you’ll find the relationship. Plus, it staves off boredom when you do something fun and interesting, and it’ll help you feel closer to your significant other.
Look, it doesn’t have to be as extreme as bungee jumping. But try going to dance classes together, or check out a new cuisine. Travel to a new destination or explore a new hobby. You’ll be surprised at how much more you appreciate your relationship.
Spice up your sex life
At the beginning of the relationship, everything feels new and exciting, including any run of the mill sex you might have. But with the passage of time, you’re going to get dissatisfied with the same old sexual routine. It’s not that you don’t find your partner sexy, but when you’re doing anything by rote it’s going to get stale.
So spice things up in the bedroom. Indulge in your fantasies and explore any kinks the two of you might have. Get a few sex toys and get into New positions. It’ll help you appreciate each other all the more, especially as you communicate to each other what you find pleasurable and exciting.
Learn to forgive your partner
Your partner is going to make mistakes and hurt your feelings sometimes. While it may be difficult to forgive them, it is something that you need to learn how to do in order to maintain a healthy and loving relationship. To avoid developing hostility in your relationship, accept that your partner is not perfect and forgive them when they are wrong.
You have to be willing to give forgiveness to get forgiveness, remember that no one is perfect, and you are going to make your share of mistakes too.
Keep checking in with each other regularly
The urge to call each other at random times in the day dies down as you invest more time in the relationship. After all, you’re spending so much time with your significant other, so why should you keep messaging them? Well, even if you’re spending hours upon hours with each other, you still may not be connecting. That’s why some couples therapists recommend you give at least half an hour of time to the other person every day just to check in on them and see how they are doing. It’s a simple act but it seems a clear and strong message: you’re invested in the relationship and want to have a strong bond with the other person at all times, even when your lives are totally hectic and chaotic.
And on that note, it’s important to know each other on a deeper level. No matter how many years you spend with someone, you’ll never really truly know everything about them. This means that you can always get to know more and more about your significant other. And yet, too many couples are content not exploring the facets of each other’s personality. When you’re giving each other time, make sure to talk about yourselves. Ask each other questions, not just about your day, but also about what you want out of life. Discuss your passions and your dreams in detail. Connect on a deeper level.
Spend some time apart
Distance makes the heart grow fonder, they say, and most couples therapists would agree. Have some alone time, when you don’t see your partner for a few days. It’s important to invest time in yourself as an individual, and this can be pretty hard to do when you’re in a relationship, since so much of your self is bound up in another person. However, relationships can get tricky when you start to define yourself in terms of another person. That’s why it’s so important to have some me time, when you only focus on your own self. Not only does this help you understand what you want for yourself, but it also will stop you from taking your partner for granted. You’ll be all the more excited when you next see them!
Make a grand gesture every once in a while
No, you don’t need to hold up a boom box outside your house, not do you need to rush to the airport and make an anguished declaration of love every other week. It’s usually the little things that bring a couple together, like watching a series on Netflix together or going for weekly tennis matches. Too many big grand gestures are actually counterproductive to a healthy romance, since they can set up unrealistic expectation. They lead to inevitable disappointment, as you won’t be able to keep up the level of commitment to the gestures.
However, a big gesture every few months or so is unlikely to go amiss. A little drama in the relationship every so often will spice things up, and keep you not only invested in the relationship but excited for it. And there’s no need to worry about unrealistic expectations or disappointment either. Each gesture will prove enough on its own, and keep you excited for the next.