Is there anything as exciting yet nerve wracking as a first date? With jitters and stomach butterflies, how do you ensure your first date goes well enough to potentially transition into something more serious? Well, while every date is unique in its own way, there are some steps you can take that can increase the chances of a great first date. Let’s have a look at these 7 dating tips
Nervous? Don’t worry, so is the other person. Be upfront about it!
It’s only natural for a first date to cause anxiety. But it’s not just natural for you! More likely than not, your partner is just as nervous as you are. One way to get around this problem is to simply be upfront about it. If you’re nervous, don’t walk into the date pretending to be more confident than you are. Your date will see right through you. Instead, admit to it. Your honesty could prove to be a refreshing icebreaker as your date also admits to being nervous. This should also help you feel less pressure to prove yourself on the date, as you can laugh away any flubs
Keep the conversation flowing.
Now that you’ve admitted to your first date jitters, ease into a conversation and keep it flowing. Make sure the conversation is about getting to know each other. Be as open about yourself as you can, but also ask plenty of questions so your date also has a chance to speak about themselves. A successful conversation has plenty of back and forth, so both of you are contributing to it. If you only talk about yourself and don’t ask the other person questions, you’ll appear self-absorbed or uninterested. By asking your date questions about their lives, you’re conveying how engaged you are in the process of getting to know them.
Be aware of appropriate conversation topics.
The best first date conversation is fun, light and frothy. It can be a good idea to talk about things like your favorite music, food, movie or hobby, especially if it turns out both of you are into the same things. The consensus on conversation for the first date, therefore, is that it should be light and enjoyable. Many dating experts would therefore advise you to not discuss heavier topics like religion or politics on the first date. However, there is a bright side to bringing up strong beliefs or opinions on the very first date instead of waiting for the third or fourth: you’ll know immediately where your date stands on issues that are important to you, and you won’t have to waste any more time dating someone who is politically incompatible with you.
You can also discuss jobs and work, but avoid bringing up topics that involve money at all costs. It’s just impolite to enquire about how much money one makes, or what kind of car they drive, or if they rent or own their place. Such questions make you come across as someone who is just way too concerned about how much money the other party will be able to spend on them.
Also, avoid bringing up past relationships. If the topic comes up on the date, don’t avoid it, but don’t provide a detailed synopsis. Summarize and move on.
Dress up, but be comfortable.
There’s a lot of emphasis put on putting your sexiest foot forward on a first date. Of course, looking your best is always recommended on a date, but do not sacrifice comfort at the glam altar. You want to relax and be comfortable as soon as possible, and a dress that constantly needs adjustment will get in the way of that. Remove any clothing options that require you to expend mental energies to them during the date. Instead, wear a dressy outfit that you know you’ll be comfortable in. And of course, dress for the venue.
Avoid checking your phone too much.
In the habit of playing with your phone a lot? Well, don’t do it on the date. It sends your date a pretty clear message that you’re more interested in talking with someone else than you are in being with them. Turn off your phone (or put it on silent if you are expecting an urgent call). If you’re expecting to get an important call, let your date know at the beginning so they don’t feel slighted when you pick up the call. And if you get an unexpected call, make sure to tell your date what’s going on before you excuse yourself, and assure them you’ll be back quickly. Never leave abruptly, or make your date feel like they’re getting in the way of more important things.
In that vein, don’t forget your manners.
Repetitively checking your phone is just one of many inconsiderate bad habits that you should avoid. Bad manners are never attractive and are incredibly likely to irritate your date. Always be on time for the date, and let them know if you’re going to be late. Treat the waiters and serving staff politely too, not just your date! The way you treat other people, as well as the way you behave if you’re stuck in traffic, can tell your date a lot about who you are as a person.
Don’t pretend to be something you’re not
Yes, there’s a lot of pressure to impress on a first date. That’s why it can be tempting to exaggerate, or to dress the truth up, or even lie about yourself. Now, you might be able to get away with this sort of dishonesty if you never see your date again after that first time. But if you’ve been following the rules here, and your first date was successful enough to lead to a relationship, you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do. So don’t try to make yourself something you’re not. Stick with the truth, and it will be a lot easier to remember what you said on future dates.